How much do Parents Spend on Birthday Gifts?

I wanted to write about this topic because it’s something I overthink as a parent. One of my takeaways from the poll is this anxiety is truly misplaced. Everyone does something different; there is no one right way to give or receive. Do what feels right to you and don’t put extra mental stress on yourself!

This post is a result of an Instagram poll I did the week of September 18th. I loved reading the responses I got - thank you everyone for participating! I also surveyed some of my other mom friends who live outside of NYC as I was curious if things varied across markets.

First Question: How much do you typically spend on a gift?

I’ve always spent about $25 on gifts and I felt nice seeing that I was average. Then I immediately judged myself. To my first point in this post, no parent (including yourself) should judge you for spending more or less.

If my followers represent the average NYC parent, at any party you are likely to see a pretty wide price range for the gifts your child receives. These responses also show it’s not completely uncommon to not bring a gift!

When I asked friends outside of NYC, the $20-$30 range was still the most common.

Second Question: Do you always listen when people say no presents?

This poll is where things really got interesting to me. If you request “no presents” on an invite, the majority of people may still bring something.

I received quite a few responses that said “book” or “homemade card” or “only for a BFF” so I bucketed all of those as “alternate responses.” I really enjoyed the parent who said “my kid demanded to bring something so we brought stickers.” I felt the frustration in that reply!

When I surveyed my college friends, one of them said “gifting is something that you teach your children.” I think these responses are probably a reflection of that. I think a lot of the “always bring a gift” families were brought up with this approach. While I certainly don’t expect those presents, I don’t want to judge others if that feels right for their family.

To reiterate, let’s support people taking whatever path that feels best to them.

Third Question: Do you give your children all their birthday gifts?

My motivations were definitely selfish with this question. I always give my children all their birthday gifts and I was curious if I was alone there. As with all of these, it is a mixed bag. A special shout out to the mom who said her child’s birthday was right before Christmas and she has no hope of withholding gifts!

The “it depends'' category had a few interesting responses. My favorite idea was to save some of them for a rainy day. I’m going to try and stockpile for future gifts. I think this will get tricky with two kids though as I will obviously need some for both!

Fourth Question: Do you do anything creative around birthdays?

Honestly, every response I got here was great. There is so much knowledge out there with other parents! (Part of why I wanted to start this endeavor.) I’m sharing a few below:

  • Creating Birthday Crowns

  • A Fiver party (amazing idea, check out this article)

  • Something in, something out

  • Contributions for an activity

My own personal creative option is that each year we decided to have a “vintage” for birthday party gifts. We bring the same gift to every birthday party and just buy in bulk ahead of time. It has actually worked out as the perfect solution for us. My daughter always wants to bring a gift and she can. As parents, we don’t have to commit the extra time and money to pick it out. Last year we gave the magic-changing markers I loved as a kid for every birthday party.

I hope this helps take some pressure off your next birthday party attendance! (I’ve got a no-present birthday on Sunday, let’s see how many comply!)

-Katie